On sait maintenant à quel point le lien d’attachement est important. Mais comment l’établir?
Source: Liens et attachement
FROM THE FRENCH:
The benefits of a secure attachment
A baby who develops a stable and secure attachment relationship with his parents in the early years of his life is more likely to be well equipped to handle difficult situations throughout his life. Instead, a baby who could not form this close relationship with significant adults may struggle to adapt to group life. The attachment is even essential to the survival of the human being.
Although the first years of life are very important to establish a link attachment, be aware that built up over a lifetime.
A strong attachment so has several advantages:
- The child will feel loved and safe. When he grows up, the child will feel that he is worthy of affection and it will have a positive perception of others. It will be easier for him to reach out to others, to explore their environment and new experiences. On the contrary, children with insecure attachment will be reluctant to love and be loved. It will react badly to compliments and rewards. For example, it will deny that it makes the hugs .
- The baby will know that he can rely on his parents to meet their needs. It will have more confidence in him when explore the world around him and will more confidence to others. By cons, a child with an inadequate attachment bond will tend to pull away from those around him, as if he had given up the idea that we can meet their needs. It might even develop distrust of adults.
- A child who feels secure is easier to learn and thrive on the engine and intellectually.
- The child will have a greater ability to adapt to different situations in life, because it will feel supported by his family and will be better able to control their emotions in stressful situations. For example, the separation from the adult when he starts attending the daycare or school will be easier.
- The attachment will facilitate the learning of social skills and the sharing of emotions. A child with a secure attachment also manifest more empathy and cooperation with others. This will help to form strong relationships with other children, educators, daycare or teachers at school. In the absence of such a link attachment, a child will live more conflicts with children his age because he socialize only to meet its own needs. Indeed, children with insecure attachment will look much the focus . He will have difficulty to share adult attention and to admit his faults. It could even be manipulative and hostile when he does not get what he wants. So it will be more likely to have problems with behavior and delinquency older.
- As an adult, he will have more chance to live healthy relationships and be satisfied at work. On the contrary, the person without secure attachment will be more likely to experience dissatisfaction in their couple relationships and even domestic violence. Labour relations will risk also to be a source of conflict.
How to foster a secure attachment
The first of a baby attachment link is generally established with his mother, but the bond he shares with his father is just as important. A bond of attachment can also be formed with an aunt, a grandparent or a teacher. The one with his parents, however, remains the most important.
Some behaviors favor the creation of an attachment link:
Before 18 months, a child is unable to make a whim, because his brain is not developed enough. If a baby cries to be taken is that it needs to be reassured. So you do not spoil your child when you respond to their needs. You rather teach him that he can count on you.
- Meet the needs of your baby with affection, tenderness and consistency. For example, if your baby cries , try to give him what he needs, whether drinking, changing layer or a hug.
- Respond quickly to your baby’s crying. This will allow him to feel less stress. With time, you learn to recognize the signals of your baby and you will respond more effectively to their needs. Your baby will know and he can count on you to ensure comfort and safety.
- Interact with your baby tenderly. Rock her, hold it in your arms and talk to him gently.
- Accept the child as it is, with its strengths and weaknesses. This will allow him to feel that he can be loved and promote the development of good self-esteem .
Remember that your baby needs only a good parent, not a perfect parent. So do not worry about mistakes you might make. As your baby will know that you can count on most of the time he will adapt.
If you feel unable to care for your baby, or because you live a depression or for any other reason, seek help from your spouse or relative. Consult your doctor or contact your CLSC about the services available in your area. Similarly, if you do not understand the needs of your baby despite your ability to care, consult your doctor. He feels perhaps health problems.